Saturday, April 04, 2015

THE HEADHUNTER

This is not me, but it's what I looked like after my scalping.

I went to get my hair cut today.
The place is called the HEAD HUNTER, and I had gone there before.
An Asian woman works there alone.

The place has six folding chairs, and on each seat sits one clean, white towel.
The place also has two signs that sit on a step ladder which read:
TAKE PHONE OUTSIDE
and
PLEASE SIT DOWN.
I turned off my phone after I had sat down.

The HEAD HUNTER has eight photographs of men with different hair styles.
On each photograph is a number.
On my previous visit the woman had asked me to pick which hair style I wanted.
I forget which one I picked.
Today I had plenty of time to choose.
I was having trouble deciding.
One style (Number 4) that I liked would keep my hair about the same length.
Another style (Number 5) was a bit shorter.
The third (Number 2) was a lot shorter, but not real short.
I picked this one.
After I sat down, the woman asked, “How do you want your hair cut?”
I said, “Like in picture number two.”

The haircut would probably have proceeded fine had I not confused the woman when I said, “I want the front short...I don't want bangs.”
The woman didn't say anything or even make a sound.

The Christian songs kept playing on the radio inside the HEAD HUNTER.
The woman likes Christian songs.
Some of them are quite good.

The haircut was finished.
It looked pretty good from the front.
No bangs.
I paid the woman five dollars.
(She does not accept tips.)

When I got home I held a mirror to the back of my head.
NO HAIR!
I had been scalped!
The woman had not understood me after all.
One granddaughter told me, “You look bald”, and indeed I did, and that was the bad news.

The good news was that the woman in the HEAD HUNTER had not removed my head.




IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES HAIRCUTS AND COMMUNICATION!








Sunday, March 29, 2015

IS ANYONE OUT THERE AND DO WE WANT TO FIND OUT?


Former NASA engineer claims he saw a NINE FOOT alien on 1991 space mission
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3016514/Former-NASA-engineer-claims-saw-NINE-FOOT-alien-1991-space-mission.html

*










Stop looking for extraterrestrials.


They will find us--- sooner or later---if they haven't already.


Read a book.


Relax.


We've got lasers.


We're ready.


As a U.S. President once said, “Bring 'em on!”






Niobi:
It's still snowing in Boston on the Earth.


Xenon:
That's fine, but I'm more concerned about what the human animals are doing.


Niobi:
What are they doing, besides killing each other and destroying their ecosystem?


Xenon:
The animals are itching to find us.


Niobi:
But we have nothing to fear.


Xenon:
Yes we do. These animals are vile, violent and vainglorious.


Niobi:
We can swat them as they do their flies if they get too close to us.


Xenon:
Yes, but the Galactic Council is recommending invasion and neutralization before these monstrosities get any closer.


Niobi:
When?


Xenon:
On their Christmas day next year.


Niobi:
They will be busy opening presents.


Xenon:
Right.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND EXTRATERRESTRIALS!

Time Capsule

The cold machines from earth
Traveled as far as they could
And traveled empty paths
Through endless spaces
Filled with myriad stars and
Galaxies
For one thousand years.

It didn't matter, after all,
Since life on earth as men
Had known it was gone
And the men, the intelligent
Knowers and machine-lover-makers
Had also disappeared.
The sun never felt a thing
And God remained inside
His big laboratory quietly thinking
About what to do next.
By M.L. Squier

Sunday, March 08, 2015

THE BARE FACTS








Dr. Seuss, you HAVE been a naughty boy!

All of this time we---and by we I mean children---thought that you were a decent and upstanding fellow.

But now we have learned that you once published a book about naked ladies:



Shocking, shocking, shocking!

The bare-butted lady was none other than Mrs. Lady Godiva.

In fact, the tale---or should I say the tail?---of Lady Godiva and her horsey ride never took place.

Her tale (or tail) was never seen--- nor wAS the horse'S TAIL:

A fascinating piece of history. But as it happens, most medieval scholars agree the ride never took place.”



Nonetheless, the news about Dr. Seuss's book is interesting.

He naturally wanted to make a buck by exposing Lady Godiva's butt---or rather her seven butts.

But the public back then (unlike today?) was not that interested in purchasing a book about naked ladies and their butts.

The public's eyes today want to see as many butts as possible---the bigger the better.

Just ask Kim Kardashian, and all of her BIG BUTT WANNABES.

The human form can be a thing of beauty, as many sculptors and painters have shown us.

Although a few cultures and religions are ashamed to see naked butts and (and other body parts)---and prohibit such exhibitions---this is a minority view in the world.

*

Although Beauty is Truth, and Truth is Beauty---Big Butts have Big Benefits:






P.S.
From Wikipedia:

Scopophilia or scoptophilia (from Greek σκοπέω skopeō, "look to, examine" and φιλία philia, "tendency toward"), is deriving pleasure from looking. As an expression of sexuality, it refers to sexual pleasure derived from looking at erotic objects: erotic photographs, pornography, naked bodies, etc.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND BIG BUTTS!


Sunday, March 01, 2015

GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS








GOOD NEWS:
Smoking pot is now legal in Washington, D.C.

BAD NEWS:
Republicans won't be SMOKING IT.

*

GOOD NEWS:
Mitt Romney will not run in the 2016 Presidential election.

BAD NEWS:
Rick Perry is and Sarah Palin might be.

*

GOOD NEWS:
Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner said that everything he knows he learned inside a bar.

BAD NEWS:
Representative Boehner is still inside a bar.

*

GOOD NEWS:
Madonna continued to perform at the Brit Awards after she fell off the stage.

BAD NEWS:
She suffered whiplash, and she still isn't a virgin.

*

GOOD NEWS:
The Buff Orpington hen named Ping Pong layed a perfectly spherical egg.

BAD NEWS:
We still don't know which came first: The chicken or the egg?

*








GOOD NEWS:


dONALD TRUMP STILL WEARS

THAT ORANGE THING ON HIS

HEAD.



BAD NEWS:


dONALD TRUMP IS STILL AN

IDIOT:



"This very expensive 

GLOBAL


WARMING bullshit has got


to stop. Our planet is


freezing, record 

low temps, 


and our GW scientists are


stuck in ice."


Donald Trump







IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!
















Monday, February 23, 2015

THE SAME OLD (WAR) SONG AND WHERE ANTS POOP


GOD ON HIS CLOUD HAIKU


I'm GoD oN mY cLoUd:
MaNkInD sToP yOuR gOdAmN wArS
bEfOrE I rAiN hArD!    

By M. L. Squier



http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/12/opinion/obama-still-believes-in-unlimited-war-isis.html?




"An asteroid or a super volcano could destroy us, and we face risks the dinosaurs never saw: an engineered virus, inadvertent creation of a micro black hole, catastrophic global warming or some as-yet-unknown technology could spell the end of us. Humankind evolved over millions of years, but in the last sixty years atomic weaponry created the potential to extinguish ourselves. Sooner or later, we must expand life beyond this green and blue ball—or go extinct."

Elon Musk






Remember that scene in the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey where the dawn of man occurs?
The man-ape discovers that a bone can be used as a weapon.

Men now have smart(er) weapons.

(Dumb men...smart weapons?)

War is ancient.

Oohing and ahhing and bleating about War is also old.

But War goes on and on and on, with or without the old songs.

If I had a corporation that made millions and billions from selling armaments, I wouldn't bleat about War.

I would only sing songs of praise about War.

Stephen Hawking was telling us about the dangers of aliens and robots, and now he's warning us about ourselves. He recently repeated his admonition:




But Enough about war...
What about ants and where they poop?






IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES WAR AND POOPING ANTS!


*


Bamian Afghanistan



Echoes of Tamerlane, Genghis Khan and
Alexander were found in turquoise, opal and
Amethyst dreams,
Young vagabonds slept on Persian rugs
Beneath Heaven's green pastures far below
Tall Buddhas on Bamian's plains.
While bright on earth green grass grew under
Falling rain, above the sky lit up dark
Echoed man's last refrain:
'We hail the rains to bring us back to life;
We hail the rains to remove this mortal rule
of knife.' But thunder shouted and sirens cried,
People hurried, they fought and died.
Echoes of Tamerlane, Genghis Khan and
Alexander were found in turquoise, opal and
Amethyst dreams,
Young vagabonds slept on Persian rugs
Beneath Heaven's green pastures
Far below tall Buddhas on Bamian's plains.

By M.L. Squier























Monday, February 16, 2015

WHAT BIG BROTHER KNOWS


 
 






 
OMB:
This is the Office of Management and Budget, how may I assist you today?

Winston:
Yes, I'd like to find out what the government knows about me.
 
OMB:
Sir, you will need to contact the Enterprise Data Inventory.

Winston:
OK. Thanks

EDI:
Hello, this is the Enterprise Data Inventory. How may I help you today?

Winston:
I want to find out what information the government has on me in your Data Index.

EDI:
Sir, what is your date of birth?

Winston:
June 1, 1984.

EDI:
How interesting.  That's the same year as the name of that novel.

Winston:
I know, that's how I got my name. Now, how about the information on me?

EDI:
One moment while I retrieve your file. Oh my, Mr. Winston, you have some very interesting data.

Winston:
Like what?

EDI:
Well, it says here that you are prone to excessive flatulence, and that you are a compulsive nose picker.

Winston:
You've got to be kidding?

EDI:
No, I'm not kidding. I'm looking at photos of your compulisve nose picking. Oooh.

Winston:
Alright. But what about some more important data?

EDI:
Well, we know that you are planning to have a sex change operation in a few weeks.

Winston
What! How can you know that? I haven't told anyone.

EDI:
We have our methods Mr. Winston.

Winston:
This is outrageous! I almost feel naked.

EDI:
Don't worry, Mr. Winston, we already know what you look like unclothed. Have a nice day.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND WHAT BIG BROTHER KNOWS!


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts



I lived in an apartment on Symphony road in the summer of 1968.
  
In the summer of 1968 Boston was hot, muggy, and wonderful.
My visit would last two months, and I loved every minute.

I was hired at the first job that I had applied for.
It was a job as head receiver in a major retail store.
The work was hard, but I was in good physical condition.
I had not started smoking or drinking yet, and so I was the man for the job.
I was twenty years old.
I was visiting my brother who was working on his Phd. at Boston College.
I only saw him once or twice while in Boston.

I did a lot of walking.
Walking across the St. Charles Bridge was always a short and easy stroll.
I don't remember riding the trolleys that much, but I enjoyed hearing the sounds that they made.

There were always seagulls.
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!